July 2007
ISO red-eyed, blond demon male, whose name and location escape me. Short horns, fond of rolling down large hills, earnest manner. Remember Raspberry and hanging out with the Legion? Contact bahli@dagorhir.com.
June 2007
DA DRAGON CLAW
YEP DATS RIGHT WE BE DA NEW BAND O MERCS OUT TO GET SOME OF YOUR TREES...TRES..LOOT!
NEED A LITTL MORE FIGHT IN YOUR FIGHTERS?
HIRE DA DRAGON CLAW
WANT A BIT MORE ARK...ARRC....GUYS WID DA BOWS ON YOUR SIDE?
HIRE DA DRAGON CLAW
WANT TO DO SUMFIN FOR DAT FAVORITE ALL....ALE...GROUP DAT FIGHTS WIT YA?
GIVE EM ONE OF DA DRAGON CLAW GIFT CER.....SERT.....THINGS THAT SAY YOU LIKE DEM SO MUCH YA HIRED A BAND OF MERCS TO FIGHT WID DEM
WE HAVE SPEC.....SPESHALS FOR GOOD COST....PEOPLE DAT HIRE US LOTS HIRE 5 TIMES AND GET 6TH ONE FREE!
WE DON'T DO WINDOW BUT WE WILL KILL YOU.....ER.........YOUR ENNE....EMNA.....DA GUYS WHAT WANTS TO KILL YOU.
WANT TA MAKE SURE DAT FARE FIGHT IF MORE FARE FOR YOUR SIDE?
HIRE DA DRAGON CLAW
PLANIN A REVO...RIV..TAKE OVER OF YOU BOSSES JOB?
HIRE DA DRAGON CLAW
LOOK FOR US AT A BATTLE NERE YOU!
April 2007
HELP WANTED!
Starting Dagorhir unit in northern Illinois, Roscoe/Rockton area. Unit to become part of national chapter named Pahmoten. First members will get a say in unit theme, goals, organization, etc. Any contacts, ideas, legwork, bribes are welcome! Contact Sirilay sirilay@dagorhir.com
February 2007
For Sale
One Jabberwocky; completely housetrained, but must be kept away from children. Has a particular liking for JubJub birds, and is easily reprimanded by the quick use of a vorpal sword. Asking two barrels of good mead or best offer. Contact Raziel.
Personals
Single Good Elf, seeking +2 holy scimitar for adventures and more.....send replies to the Wirewood post office. And scent envelopes with *ahem* perfume....
Single Neutral Dwarf, mourning battleaxe destroyed in last fight with goo monster. Seeking maker for new axe and industrial strength goop solvent. Send product referrals and/or crafter's credentials A.S.A.P.
Married Evil Balrog, separated from wife in recent fight with Gandalf the Grey. Seeking accurate map of wherever this damn hole is that I fell from. Send goblin envoy with parcel in exchange for gold. Elven or Human envoys will be eaten. Dwarven envoys will be smacked around and humiliated just like Balin and friends.
Single Neutral Hobbit Rogue seeking teacher to help perfect sneak attack. Candidates must be experienced in diligence and patience. Good runners (in case of mishaps). Send word of request to Shire.
Lost and Found
Single Evil Lava Imp seeking owner of ring found in fires of Mount Doom. Ring landed on my head along with a scraggly screaming cretin. Discovered identity (Smeagol) upon autopsy of charred remains. Send prepaid fireproof envelope address as follows:
439 Ember Lane
Mount Doom, Mordor.
Lost: One large Demon with 8- to 10-foot wingspan. Last seen wearing gold armor and shouting, "Not Puerto Rico!" If found, please notify via email demontoady@dagorhir.com.